When We Rush Into Friendships

I’m sure you have heard the expression, love at first sight, but have you ever heard that love at first sight can be very detrimental to us, if we are not careful. This concept does not only apply to romantic relationships, but to any new person who comes into our lives. We may be willing to share deep personal secrets with a person before we have tested them to see if they are really trustworthy. I researched the Internet before writing this article, but found very little information for this subject that affects us so profoundly.

When a person comes into our life we have two ways of looking at them: 1) What are they looking for from me? 2) What am I looking for from them? If we are looking for a friendship whereby we need someone to confide in about our personal life then we have to question our own motives: Am I confiding in this person because I need to do that, or is it because they impress me, and I want to share with them so they will accept me, love me, and be my friend?

It is very important to avoid rushing headlong into a relationship with someone without knowing them first. On a personal note I have suffered greatly by confiding in people who I should have kept on the periphery of my relationships. I brought them into my close inner circle of friends too quickly, and I was damaged greatly. People can promise you the moon, and stars, but never deliver. They use cunning manipulation to get from us what they need, with no regard to what we need or are looking for in a friend. When this happens we find ourselves at a loss, not knowing what to do with the shattered pieces of a broken, and betrayed friendship.

Remember it is crucial that we test those who say they want to be our friends. Don’t divulge too much information to someone who we know nothing about. For some of us we have given everything, our time, our finances, our possessions, and many other things to those who only have in mind to use, and betray us. I’m not saying that we can never trust people in our lives, but go very s-lo-w-l-y with someone new, and wait until we know for sure that they are who they say they are, then we can open up about ourselves. This is a process that takes time and diligence on our part. Although we may want to share with a new person our deep dreams, aspirations, and sensitive personal information, but if we go too quickly we may wreak havoc on ourselves by not listening to our gut instincts.

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