Blame and Excuses

We’ve all done it at one point or another, that is, to pass the buck, make  excuses, and blame others for our shortcomings. This lifestyle might be suitable for toddlers, but for many of us adults we revert back to our toddler age when confronted with a wrongdoing. We get angry, throw out smoke screens, and assume no responsibility for our actions. Why? Because we’re hurting people, and hurt people, hurt people. It seems so much easier to point the finger at someone else than to accept that it was us who made the mistake.

Have we ever experienced someone who hurt us deeply, and then turned around, and blamed us for their actions. It’s a very sad thing to experience, yet it is a reality for many people. Their hurt from the formative years carried well over into their twenties, thirties, forties, and some people never escaped the damage of their upbringing. In this generation we have children in adult bodies making adult decisions based on childlike  mentalities. In short, we never achieve happiness, or come to know our real selves.

What about the excuses we make?

Excuses are closely related to self deception especially if we come to really believe in what we are saying to others. We deceive ourselves into thinking that the whole world is wrong, and only we are right, and have the right answers. We can never be backed into a corner , as we always have an excuse for everything. These white lie excuses will lead to our downfall, as people will come to disrespect us for our words, and they will distance themselves from us. The result is a very lonely existence, as all we have left is our non-working excuses.

There is nothing wrong with accepting that we did something wrong to another person, apologize to them, ask for them to forgive us, and turn away from repeating the same behavior. As we grow into maturity by abstaining from blame and excuses, we see our true person emerging. We become someone who can be relied on, because we’re willing to admit we made a mistake. Ironically it’s by accepting our wrongdoing, and acknowledging it, that we achieve true happiness. People are attracted to those who stand up and say,

“I was wrong, it was my fault, please forgive me, I’ll do my best to never do that to you again.”

You can do this! It just takes a little attitude adjustment and realizing that we are all imperfect, have flaws, and need inner healing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with making a mistake, we all make mistakes, that’s a given, but it’s what we do with the mistakes that will either make us happy or miserable. Some of the greatest people on earth made very serious mistakes, yet they were forgiven once they acknowledged their hurt to another person. So it is with us, we accept our wrongdoing, and forfeit our blame and excuses for true peace and happiness. Serenity comes to those who take the blame, and refrain from excuses. * From The Hurting Person’s Guide to a Happy Life, Chapter 4, Blame and Excuses.

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Attitude

Have you ever wondered why some people go farther in life than others? Is it because of upbringing, is it because of missed opportunities, or does it involve something greater. For me I found that things started coming together for me after I changed my attitude. It wasn’t until I changed my attitude that things began to come around for me. Here are three things that can happen when a person changes their attitude:

Prosperity – Good things come to people with a good attitude: Money, health, stability, security, open mindedness, peace, all needs met, and a sense that all is well. Opportunities present themselves, and we seize the opportunity.

Living in the current of life – Life is far from standing still, and we are in the center of motion. It’s like a rushing stream or river, we are right in the middle of the current. There are those on the side of the river where it pools, bacteria and other deadly attitudes can be found there, but in the middle of the stream we can drink of it and not be harmed. That’s where we find momentum, in the middle of the stream of life.

We never give up – People with a good attitude don’t give up. The world around us could be falling apart, but our integrity, dignity, self esteem, and self worth maintain us. We aren’t easily intimidated, and we know what we want, and go after it. Can’t is not in our vocabulary, and our word is as good as a lawyer’s contract. We have sweet sleep, and our families are happy, and content. Our children seek good careers, are obedient to parents, and peace reigns in the home. We assume responsibility for our actions, and deeds.

So we see that with a good attitude, good things come our way. It’s imperative to avoid negative attitudes, as we will be brought down to into a mediocre life that produces nothing but hardship and pain. Changing our attitude is the greatest thing we can do to create happiness, prosperity, and peace for ourselves. If we are unwilling to change our attitude we may never realize the life we could have had. It starts with attitude. *Taken from The Hurting Person’s Guide to a Happy Life, Chapter 1.

The Gift of Encouragement

In my early years I seldom received a kind word from my family, and as a result of my conditioning I became  a negative, pessimistic, and critical person.  It very easy to give a critical word to someone, but now I find it a privilege, and honor to encourage someone. Let’s look at what encouragement does for someone:

1) When I’m encouraged I feel good about myself. I feel like a worthy person; that I’ve done something good. It makes me happy to get encouragement from friends and others.

2) When I encourage my friends I notice that they respond in a way that brings us closer together. They appreciate my kind, and sincere words that come from my heart. Love grows where there is encouragement.

3) Encouragement could save a person from doing something desperately wrong in their lives. They may be contemplating taking their life, or just feel like giving up. An encouraging word from a friend or stranger could turn things around for the better.

4) Encouragement gives life, it’s positive, and it satisfies our souls better than a good meal.  The benefits from encouraging someone are more numerous than the stars in the sky. With encouragement we can accomplish the most difficult tasks.

5) Finally, Encouragement provides the environment for growth, spiritually, emotionally, and even physically. It fosters so many good, and healthy responses in our life.

Take the time to encourage someone today. Give them a kind word. It could be a compliment, or something as simple as a pat on the back. Take care of yourself, you’re all you’ve got.