We’ve all done it at one point or another, that is, to pass the buck, make excuses, and blame others for our shortcomings. This lifestyle might be suitable for toddlers, but for many of us adults we revert back to our toddler age when confronted with a wrongdoing. We get angry, throw out smoke screens, and assume no responsibility for our actions. Why? Because we’re hurting people, and hurt people, hurt people. It seems so much easier to point the finger at someone else than to accept that it was us who made the mistake.
Have we ever experienced someone who hurt us deeply, and then turned around, and blamed us for their actions. It’s a very sad thing to experience, yet it is a reality for many people. Their hurt from the formative years carried well over into their twenties, thirties, forties, and some people never escaped the damage of their upbringing. In this generation we have children in adult bodies making adult decisions based on childlike mentalities. In short, we never achieve happiness, or come to know our real selves.
What about the excuses we make?
Excuses are closely related to self deception especially if we come to really believe in what we are saying to others. We deceive ourselves into thinking that the whole world is wrong, and only we are right, and have the right answers. We can never be backed into a corner , as we always have an excuse for everything. These white lie excuses will lead to our downfall, as people will come to disrespect us for our words, and they will distance themselves from us. The result is a very lonely existence, as all we have left is our non-working excuses.
There is nothing wrong with accepting that we did something wrong to another person, apologize to them, ask for them to forgive us, and turn away from repeating the same behavior. As we grow into maturity by abstaining from blame and excuses, we see our true person emerging. We become someone who can be relied on, because we’re willing to admit we made a mistake. Ironically it’s by accepting our wrongdoing, and acknowledging it, that we achieve true happiness. People are attracted to those who stand up and say,
“I was wrong, it was my fault, please forgive me, I’ll do my best to never do that to you again.”
You can do this! It just takes a little attitude adjustment and realizing that we are all imperfect, have flaws, and need inner healing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with making a mistake, we all make mistakes, that’s a given, but it’s what we do with the mistakes that will either make us happy or miserable. Some of the greatest people on earth made very serious mistakes, yet they were forgiven once they acknowledged their hurt to another person. So it is with us, we accept our wrongdoing, and forfeit our blame and excuses for true peace and happiness. Serenity comes to those who take the blame, and refrain from excuses. * From The Hurting Person’s Guide to a Happy Life, Chapter 4, Blame and Excuses.